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SCIENCE · SATIRE · PROXY UNIT REASONING

A Coral Colony the Length of 100 Buses Has Been Mapped off the Cocos Islands, and Nobody Yet Knows Whether It Is One Coral

Twelve dives put the rose coral at 1.56 kilometres along the outer reef slope. Genetic testing will decide whether it is a single organism or several fused together.

A rose coral colony stretching 1.56 kilometres along the outer reef of the Cocos (Keeling) Islands has been mapped by researchers and is one of the largest coral colonies ever recorded.

The work was announced by Queensland Museum, which described the formation as the equivalent of approximately 100 buses parked end to end.

The colony occupies the outer reef slope between depths of 14 and 65 metres. It averages 36.5 metres wide and covers 56,940 square metres, an area the museum compared to more than three MCG playing areas.

Further sections extend between 200 and 300 metres beyond the main body.

Mapping took 12 dives over several months. Divers used GPS to mark where each dive ended, so that the next could pick up from the same point along the reef.

Dr JP Hobbs of Adelaide University led the research, working with Queensland Museum and James Cook University.

The coral was not unknown locally. A dive operator on the islands first noticed extensive areas of it more than 30 years ago. What the survey added was the realisation that the separate stretches may be connected.

That is the open question, and it is a large one. Researchers are now using genetic testing to investigate whether the formation is a single organism or several colonies fused together.

The result is a set of measurements of unusual precision attached to a subject of unusual vagueness. The length is 1.56 kilometres. The average width is 36.5 metres. The area is 56,940 square metres. The number of animals is unknown.

This newspaper notes that one figure in the announcement is not in doubt at all. The colony is 100 buses long. Buses are a settled quantity. They are built to specification, they do not fuse, and nobody has ever had to sequence one to establish how many there are.

Our analysts therefore propose treating the buses as the stable unit and the coral as the variable. On present evidence the formation is definitely 100 buses and somewhere between one and many corals.

The upper bound follows from the comparison itself. If the stretches turn out to be separate animals, the most generous reading allows one coral per bus length, which would be a tidy outcome and the first occasion on which marine taxonomy has been settled by public transport.

No bus has been allocated more than one coral. Pending the genetics, the distribution appears even.

The Department of Unnecessary Research has asked Queensland Museum for the only clarification that would resolve the matter. If the colony is one organism, it is a single animal the length of 100 buses. If it is 100 organisms, it is a traffic jam.

ONE COLONY, MEASUREDQUESTIONABLE ANALYTICS
100Length 1,560 m
19Extra sections up to 300 m
4Deepest point 65 m
2Average width 37 m
Real measurements in metres from the survey, scaled so that the colony's 1,560-metre length is 100.
THE BORING FACT

Researchers have mapped a rose coral (Pachyseris) colony extending 1.56 kilometres along the outer reef of the Cocos (Keeling) Islands, sitting between 14 and 65 metres deep, averaging 36.5 metres wide and covering 56,940 square metres, making it one of the largest coral colonies ever recorded. Genetic testing is under way to establish whether it is one organism or several fused colonies.

Source: Phys.org
OUR PROFESSIONAL CONCLUSION

Because the colony's dimensions are known precisely while the number of organisms is not, the bus comparison becomes the firmest fact available, making the formation definitely 100 buses long and somewhere between one and 100 corals.

REALITY CHECK · PROXY UNIT REASONING

Unfortunately, there's a small problem.

A size comparison is a way of describing a measurement, not a count of anything, and the number of buses that would fit along the reef says nothing about how many organisms are present. Treating the illustrative unit as more reliable than the subject it illustrates is the trick.

THE BS DETECTOR

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Tap the paragraph where this story stopped being true. Then see where everyone else bailed.

 

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