TODAY IN NUMBERS
PERMANENT RECORD

Edition Archive

Current stories rotate off the news desks after seven days. Their permanent URLs and complete daily editions remain here for readers and search engines.

Oct 27, 2026 →

ScienceKew Settles a 245-Year Mushroom Mix-Up by Establishing Which Fungus the Name Was Never AboutWorldUS Air Base in Okinawa Turns Away Chinese Electric Cars, Taxis Included, Over a Risk It Says Cannot Be MitigatedPoliticsTamil Nadu Cuts Jet Fuel Tax by Thirteen Points and Is Promised 25 and 8 Per Cent More Flights, Dates UnspecifiedMarketsBank of Korea Puts a Price on Pessimism, and It Is Fifty to a Hundred Billion DollarsScienceAustralian Jumping Spider Filmed in Two Distinct Sleep Stages, and Will Not Answer When Woken in the SecondTechnologyOpen Source Forum Bans AI-Made Projects Under a Rule Its Own Moderator Says Cannot Be Applied ObjectivelySportWeight-Loss Drugs Stay Legal in Sport Because a Substance Has to Fail Two of Three Tests, and These Fail OneWeatherSwiss Glaciers Delivered Four Years of Household Drinking Water in Three Months, Which Is Not the Same as Having ItPiracyMeta Says It Removes Pirated Sports Streams Before Anyone Watches or Complains, Leaving Nothing Left to Count

Oct 26, 2026 →

TechnologyMerger Report Is $260m Short in One Place and $311m Over in Another, Which Nets Out at $51mWorldSydney Opens an Airport Called Western Sydney, and Some Passengers Read the Name as a BearingPoliticsPapua New Guinea Fixes Oil Neutrality at $81 a Barrel, Which Is Not the Price Oil IsMarketsRBI Study Finds Rate Cuts Pass Through Worse Than Rises, and Also Better, Depending on the AverageScienceSheffield Reproduces Roman Colour-Changing Glass, Whose Colour Depended on Where in the Furnace It SatSportWalker Takes 19 Seconds Off a World Record Set in August, in an Event That Became Official in JanuaryWeatherLos Angeles May Record Its Highest Tide in 102 Years, With Effects Confined to Walkways and Car ParksPiracyMinistry Priced Shared Articles at $49.95 Each and the Publisher Priced Them at $49.95 a Person a MonthScienceRecord 43.6 Million Tonnes of CO2 Stored Underground in 2024, After 2023 Was Revised Down to 41.7

Oct 25, 2026 →

PiracyPaper Warning That Piracy Threatens Peer Review Cites Ten Sources That Cannot Be FoundWorldSantorini Serves an Invasive Fish to 370 Diners, Standing In for the Natural Predator the Mediterranean Does Not HavePoliticsFirst-Time Buyer Loans Will Stop at £110,000 of Household Income, the Figure Rejected for Being Too Low in LondonMarketsA Third of the Post Offices Inside TG Jones Are Closing, and Some Closures Have Drawn More Than Forty ApplicationsScienceSix Researchers Establish That the 10:05 From Exeter Was Sixteen Minutes Late in 1848, Not 1841TechnologyFootballer Licenses an AI Clone That Can Work Around the Clock, Leaving His Consent the Only Thing Still ScarceSportAntonelli Leads by 102 Points and Must Be 125 Ahead After Sunday, Which He Cannot Arrange by DrivingWeatherThirty-Five Years of Nearly Identical Satellites Confirm That No Two El Niños Are AlikeScienceNatural History Museum Finds a New European Dinosaur in Its Own Cupboards, Where Thirty Million Specimens Are Kept

Oct 24, 2026 →

WorldAirbnb Bars Checkout Chores Using a Test of Whether a Cleaner Would Normally Do ThemPoliticsGreece Bans Social Media for Under-15s, and the Only Party Able to Break the Law Is a PlatformMarketsSouth Africa's Trade With China Is Up 24 Per Cent Since Tariffs Came Off Its Exports, and Most of the Rise Is ImportsSciencePacific Forecasts Now Work a Year Ahead, Provided the Pacific Has Already Decided What It Is DoingScienceAI-Designed Enzyme Assembles a Drug Molecule by Ignoring Almost Everything in the FlaskTechnologyNew Language Absorbs Python, TypeScript and C, and Will Turn Itself Back Into Them on RequestSportNWSL Removes the Criteria for High Impact Player Status, Leaving a Salary as the Only Way to QualifyWeatherTokyo Has Its Latest Midsummer Day Since 1875, Midsummer Being a Temperature Rather Than a DatePiracyBill Would Impose Blocking Duties on VPNs With 100,000 Monthly American Users, Who Are Not Meant to Be CountableWorldShop Owner Finds an Ice Cream at the Bottom of a Freezer and Dates It by the Wrapper

Oct 23, 2026 →

WorldVan Gogh's Starry Night Matched to the Sky of 22 July 1889, a Month After He Is Said to Have Painted ItPoliticsCanada Orders Regulators to Remove Two Dollars of Burden for Every One They Add, Leaving a Rulebook That Can Only ShrinkMarketsIndia Sets a 310 Billion Euro Trade Target With Germany by Adding a Zero to 31.5 Billion, Which Would Have Given 315ScienceRoman Coffin at Westminster Abbey Is Inscribed to Valerius Amandinus and Contains an Eleventh-Century AbbotScienceAmerican Coffee Has Gained Forty Per Cent More Calories Without Anybody Drinking More CoffeeTechnologyNASA Panel Puts the Launches Needed for One Moon Landing at 22, a Number That Has Only Ever Gone UpSportEngland Captain Sets the Fastest Double Century in One-Day History and Says It Does Not CountWeatherAtlantic Storm Will Reach Hurricane-Force Winds and Cannot Be Called a Hurricane, for Structural ReasonsPiracyQuad9 Will Stop Serving France Rather Than Block 58 Domains, Thereby Blocking All of ThemTechnologyNew Literary Prize Wants Fiction Written With AI That Also Solves a Problem Threatening Humanity

Oct 22, 2026 →

WeatherVancouver Has Had Eight Per Cent of Its October Rain, and the Storms Have Been Sent to AlaskaPoliticsDrivers Get Five Minutes to Decide Whether to Park and Ten Minutes to Leave, Which Is Fifteen Minutes of Not ParkingMarketsIndia's Rate-Setters Adopt a Stance That Permits a Rise or a Pause, Narrowing the Future to Two of Its Three OptionsSciencePerseverance Passes Twenty-Eight Miles on Mars, Having Been Commissioned to Drive No More Than 12.4ScienceLaser Built From a Material That Dissolves in Air Runs for 400 Million Pulses, Which Is Where the Counting StoppedTechnologyOneDrive Will Keep a Million Items in Sync on a Mac, Up From 300,000, Adding 700,000 More Things That Can Be WrongTechnologyKey-Generation Ceremony Produced a Strong Set of Keys and a Weak Set, and Nothing Could Tell Them Apart for Seventeen MonthsSportSwimmer Covers California's 900-Mile Coast in Four Months and Is First Until the Records Have Been ReviewedWorldEleven Kilograms of Spice Cover 175.82 Square Metres and Take a World Record, Which Measures Only the Square MetresPiracyPiracy Falls to Its Lowest Level Since 1992, and Boarders Got Aboard in 86 Per Cent of the Incidents That Were Counted

Oct 21, 2026 →

WorldFast-Fashion Giant Scores 28 Out of 100 for Ethics and Still Finishes Above Myer, Seafolly and Three Brands on ZeroPoliticsJammu and Kashmir Moves Its Capital for the Winter, With Each Department Sending a Third of Its Staff or Ten Officials, Whichever Is LowerMarketsAmazon Will Hire 300,000 Seasonal Workers Into the Weakest Holiday Jobs Market Since 2008ScienceAstronomers Pin Down the Universe's First Five Minutes to Half a Per Cent, Using an Instrument That Took Twelve Years to BuildTechnologyFinancial Firms Will Have to Report the Artificial Intelligence Failures That Did Not HappenTechnologyCompanies Put 28 Per Cent of Their Software Budgets Into Changes They Say They Would Not Have ChosenSportAustralians Pass 1,000 Laps in a Race Whose Only Finishing Condition Is That Everybody Else StopsWeatherOrionid Meteor Shower Peaks Over Britain in the Wettest and Windiest Week of the AutumnPiracyCourt Orders Meta to Name Who Decided to Torrent the Books, After the Company Said Nobody Did

Oct 20, 2026 →

TechnologyEleven-Foot Rocket Stage Lands in a Minnesota Cornfield and Officials Are Working to Notify Its OwnerWorldShiny Object in a Pacific Lagoon Was Not Amelia Earhart's Plane but a Clump of Trees With a Coating of CoralPoliticsIndia's Solar Farming Capacity Should Pass Five Gigawatts in Three to Four Years, a Figure the Ministry Says Is Difficult to EstimateMarketsBritish Sellers Cut Asking Prices on 3,000 Homes a Day, and Buyers Treat a Cut as Evidence of a FaultScienceNearly Half the Catchable Snow Crabs in the Bering Sea Are Not Snow Crabs, and the Quota Counts Them AnywaySportTottenham Win at Home for the Sixth Time Since November 2024, Matching Their Stadium's Beyoncé ConcertsWeatherAustralia Is Having Its Wettest El Niño Year on Record, Which the Previous 27 El Niño Years Had Ruled OutPiracySupreme Court Settles a Worldwide Copyright Case by Being Unable to Hear It, Treating Five Justices as Equally DividedWorldGiant Tuna Draw Anglers Across Australia to a Victorian Town, Where Fisheries Officers Report It Is Busier Than Easter

Oct 19, 2026 →

WorldIndonesia's New Capital Was Built to Escape Jakarta's Overcrowding and Has 10,000 of Its Planned 1.2 Million ResidentsPoliticsLoud Music Will Be Fined Up to £100 on a Bus and £1,000 on a Train, a Difference of £900 for the Same SongMarketsBritain's Largest AI Data Centre Has £2bn and 250 Jobs Waiting for a Grid Connection That Now Arrives in the 2030sScienceJapan Launches a Mission to Phobos to Bring Back Ten Grams of Dust, Which May Include the Mars That Got There FirstTechnologyTesla's New Roadster Has Four Exhaust Pipes, Which Emit Compressed Nitrogen at 100,000 psiSportBarcelona's Women Lose for the First Time in 350 Days, Around 305 of Which Contained No MatchSportMcLaren Sells Five Formula One Cars Driven by Champions, One of Them by an Actor Playing OneWeatherBritain Is Still Waiting for Its First Named Storm of a Season Whose Storms Are Issued by Three National AgenciesPiracyCourt Awards One Per Cent of the Damages Sought and Orders Registrars to Switch Off Individual Pages They Do Not Control

Oct 18, 2026 →

ScienceGerman Forest Soils Have Absorbed Three Per Cent More Methane Every Year, and the Reason Is That Conditions Got WorseScienceQuantum Error Cleanup Reaches 99.99 Per Cent Fidelity Among the Eight Per Cent of Attempts That Got That FarWorldSpain's Richest Literary Prize Goes to an Anonymous Entry Whose Anonymity Was the Only Part Nobody BelievedPoliticsGreenland Votes Unanimously for a Seabed Mining Ban That Expires in 2029 and Does Not Start Until the Bill Is DraftedMarketsVenezuelan Oil Field Raises Output More Than Fivefold, Over a Period the Government Did Not GiveTechnologyOpen-Weight Models Now Carry 71.5 Per Cent of the Tokens and a Quarter of the Money, Which Makes Them Either Dominant or UnderpricedSportBritain's Champion Jockey Sets a Record for Youth That Every Further Season Will Make WorseSportBoxer Loses His World Title on the Scales, Leaving a Belt That Only His Opponent Can WinWeatherIndia's Southwest Monsoon Withdrew From the Whole Country on the Same Day the Retreating Monsoon ArrivedPiracyTanzania Gives Its Institutions Two Weeks to Agree Measures Against Book Piracy, Having Wanted Them Yesterday

Oct 17, 2026 →

TechnologyPostgres 19 Slips to November After Better Code Review Raised the Quality Bar Above Code That Had Already Cleared ItWorldSkateboard Speed Record Set at 151.83km/h on the One Quebec Road That Has Produced Every Record for Nine YearsPoliticsM4 Report Rules Out Every Alternative, Leaving Only the Road Whose Route Protection Was Removed When It Was CancelledMarketsHong Kong Delays Its One-Day Settlement Cycle to 2028 to Give the Market Time to Prepare for the Day It Will SaveMarketsChickpeas Reach 1,000 Dollars a Tonne Because They Are Not Yet Where They Need to Be in FebruaryScienceX-Ray Pulses Reach Record Intensity So That Atoms Can Be Studied Before the X-Rays Change ThemScienceMars Now Has 2,000 Soil Classes, the Best of Which Is Prime Farmland Covering 0.14 Per Cent of the PlanetSportUruguayan Referee Books a Player With a Screen, Leaving Football to Decide How Yellow a Yellow Card Has to BeWeatherMore Than 1,300 American Temperature Records Fell in One Week, Retiring Marks Set in 1899 and the Dust BowlPiracyParis Court Rules VPNs Need Only Make a Reasonable Effort to Block Pirate Streams, Which Six Blocks Out of Eleven Apparently Is

Oct 16, 2026 →

ScienceMoon Has Lost 45 Metres of Radius in 800 Million Years, Which the Study Puts at 0.1 Micrometres a YearWorldPlaza Hotel to Close for Four Years to Restore the One Part of It Guests Never EnterPoliticsDraft EU Law Defines Made in Europe as the EU27 Plus Anyone Who Was in the Single Market on 1 January 2020MarketsSingapore Land Tender Attracts One Bid, Which Is Simultaneously the Highest and the Lowest Offer ReceivedTechnologyRocket Lab Finds Air Pockets in the Sections It Thickened to Make the Rocket StrongerSportOlympic Venues Now Spread Over 22,000 Kilometres Because the Games Are Too Big for One PlaceWeatherEngland Declares Its First Severe Drought Under a Category Created After the Last OnePiracyMusic Industry Wins $322m From Unknown Operators, and Reports the Site's Traffic Up 28 Per CentScienceExtinct Woodpecker Rebuilt to Sub-Millimetre Accuracy From One Stuffed Female and Another Bird's FeathersMarketsVictoria Orders Auction Reserves Published a Week Early, and Agents Say They Will Publish Higher Ones

Oct 15, 2026 →

WorldAustralia's First Michelin Stars All Go to the One State That Paid for the Inspectors to VisitPoliticsWhether Swindon Is in the Thames Valley Now Requires the Unanimous Agreement of the Thames ValleyPoliticsFisheries Committee Asks for a 20 Per Cent Cap on Cuts to Mediterranean Fishing Days, and for Unused Days to Roll OverMarketsCouncil Puts Three Financial Models to Its Residents, Each of Which Raises Rates by 76 Per CentScienceLabrador Named Animal of the Year for Finding Hundreds of Colonies of a Creature People Cannot SeeTechnologyLeap Seconds Set to End by Raising the Permitted Error in World Time From 0.9 Seconds to an HourSportBowler Takes Five Wickets in an Over and Concedes Eleven Runs, Which Was Roughly the Innings RateWeatherRemnants of the Season's First Atlantic Hurricane Will Reach Britain as a Warm, Sunny ThursdayPiracyPublishers Seek $19.5m From a Pirate Library, Arriving at the Figure by Listing Ten Books Each

Oct 14, 2026 →

SportFormula One Signs a Ten-Year Deal to Race in Africa at a Circuit That Has Not Been Built YetWorldPick 3 Drawing Comes Up 0-0-0 and 4,917 Tickets Win, on Odds the Lottery Says Are the Same for Every NumberPoliticsSweden Will Vote on a Prime Minister Under a Rule That Requires Nobody to Vote in FavourMarketsBumble Sold for $1.3bn in What Its Buyers Call a Bet on the Future of Humanity, Down From $14bn in 2021ScienceFungus in Yunnan Grows to 50cm and Takes a Record From Species That Held It by Reaching 30ScienceBrain Found to Contain 539 Chemically Distinct Regions, One for Every Way the Instrument Could Tell Them ApartTechnologyInternet Packet That Arrived by Pigeon Is Worth More at Auction Than the Five That Did NotWeatherPacific Sets Records on an Index Built to Remove the Warming, Whose Own History Begins in 2008PiracyHollywood Group Claims Credit for Closing Sites With a Billion Visits, in a List That Grows With Every Closure

Oct 13, 2026 →

WorldCyberattack Pushes French Supermarket Freezers to 50C, Which Is What the Defrost Function Is ForPoliticsIndia Sets the Maximum General GST Penalty at Exactly the Amount It Has Agreed Not to Write Letters AboutMarketsQueensland Awards 3,631 Square Kilometres of Cheaper Energy, the First Instalment of Which Is a Sound WaveScienceEurope's Northernmost Macaque Record Is Held by a One-Year-Old and Has Stood for 300,000 YearsScienceChemists Find the Neutral Solution Was pH 11 at One End and pH 2.5 at the Other, and Neutral NowhereTechnologyUCLA Walks Away From Its Oracle Project and Is Compensated in Oracle Credits That Expire in 2028TechnologyHalf of American Adults Have Never Used a Chatbot, Making Abstention the Category's Best-Retained ProductSportJordan's Game 2 Jersey Takes the Record at $14m, a Month After His Game 3 Jersey Took It at $12.26mWeatherAlice Springs Has the Worst Storm in 40 Years and the Ninth-Windiest October Day in 75PiracyGames Industry Values Six Months of Piracy at $1,083,735,308.55, Which Is $69.99 Each With Nothing Left Over

Oct 12, 2026 →

PiracyPirate Site Opens 687,057 Downloads to Check the Labels and Finds the Commonest Fault Is Undeclared SubtitlesWorldWorld's Largest Land Border Crossing Takes Seven Years to Build and Five Minutes to Walk ThroughPoliticsSomalia Begins Docking a Fifth of an MP's Pay for Absence, in a Chamber That Needs 141 of Them to OpenMarketsForeign Investors Sold $4.8bn of Indian Shares in September and Bought $1bn of Shares That Were Not Shares YetScienceStar Is Eating 1.3 Trillion Burritos a Second and Is Not Expected to Finish for Billions of YearsScienceEgyptian Portraits Will Leave Their Country for the First Time in Order to Visit the Capital That Governed ItTechnologyMuseum Rebuilds the 1976 Cray-1 From 30 Obsolete Mac Minis and Makes It 8,000 Times Faster by AccidentTechnologyMicrosoft President Says AI Is Less Regulated Than Milk, Which Leaves the Shorter Route of Regulating It as MilkSportSingapore Grand Prix Draws 301,294 Fans and Loses the Record to a Number Rounded to the Nearest ThousandWeatherChilean Resort Extends Its Ski Season to 143 Days, Spanning Six Calendar Months of a Three-Month Winter

Oct 11, 2026 →

WorldAdidas Sues Over Four Stripes, Leaving a Court to Decide How Far From Three a Stripe Has to StandPoliticsPoland Legislates an Eight-Hour Night, Which Any Council May Extend to TwelveMarketsBroadcaster Told It Would Be Cheaper to Buy Everyone a Television Than to Keep Transmitting to ThemScienceWorld's Oldest Land Animal Is 194, Except for the Parts of Him That Are NotTechnologyDevelopers Trust AI Answers Seven Per Cent of the Time, Rising to Forty-Eight When They Can Already Check ThemSportKipchoge Takes the Melbourne Marathon Record by Two Seconds, Having Given Several of Them to the CrowdWeatherHungary Has Its Driest Nine Months Since 1901 Without a Single Record Month in ThemPiracySpanish Blocking Order Reaches a Libyan Registrar, and the Blocked Site Now Publishes an Account of Being BlockedSciencePlush Pokemon Completes 1,040 Orbits of Earth and Is Credited With 67 Days of SpaceflightMarketsChrysler Building to Spend $235m on the Crown That Made It the Tallest in the World for Under a Year

Oct 10, 2026 →

TechnologyPC Shipments Fall 20.1 Per Cent as Memory and Storage Reach 40 Per Cent of What a Computer Is Made OfWorldAustrian Rider Drops 3.80 Metres Onto a Small Cardboard Box and Receives a World Record for Hitting ItPoliticsWales Office Gave Away Its Powers in 1999, and the Argument Now Is Which Direction Its Voice PointsMarketsAstrology Apps Take 15 Crore Downloads in Nine Months and 5.3 Minutes of Each User's DayScienceFour Astronauts Travel More Than 100 Million Miles in 237 Days and Return to the Planet They Set Off FromSportAsian Games Javelin Bronze Thrown With a Borrowed Implement That Was Itself Registered and Inspected for the FinalWeatherMumbai Has Its First Post-Monsoon Heatwave on Friday and Expects a Hotter Saturday That Is Not OnePiracyAsian Ship Incidents Fall 58 Per Cent, and 58 Per Cent of the Ones Left Are the Mildest Category AvailableScienceCloud Report Issued for a World 7.5 Light-Years Away, Where It Is Minus Eight Degrees and the Water Clouds Are ThickeningSportShort-Course 50m Backstroke World Record Falls by 0.02 Seconds, With Its Previous Holder in the Same Race

Oct 9, 2026 →

ScienceSewage Was Discharged in Wales for 800,000 Hours Last Year, in a Year That Contained 8,760 of ThemWorldGippsland Has Had Nine Earthquakes in Nine Days, Eight of Which Are Consequences of the FirstPoliticsJapan Cuts the Food Consumption Tax From Eight Per Cent to One, Retaining the One Per Cent That Makes It a TaxMarketsFirmus Pulls the Biggest ASX Float Since 1997, Making It the Largest Australian Listing of the Century Not to HappenTechnologyTen Years of Work Produce 1,500 Puzzles, Most of Which Their Maker Expects Nobody to ReachSportThe Australian Open Will Again Award $1 Million for a Single Point, Last Year Decided on the Third StrokeWeatherRecord Pacific Warming Is Forecast Without Adding Any Heat to the Planet, Which the WMO Confirms It Does Not DoPiracyCopyright Office Asks How to Spot a Fake Stream, Under Rules That Count Plays Without Respect to the Number of ListenersScienceHomo Erectus Is Dated 200,000 Years Earlier in South Africa, Where Its Only Previous Fossil Was a ToddlerTechnologyAmazon Has Built 1,000 Satellites and Launched 396, Making a Factory in Kirkland the Densest Point in Its Constellation

Oct 8, 2026 →

WorldBuff-Tailed Bumblebee Wins Public Vote for British Banknotes and Is Immediately Reclassified as a Security FeaturePoliticsKerala's Bus Corporation Enters the Freight Business to Raise Non-Ticket Revenue, Starting With a Tonne of TelephonesMarketsSamsung Expects a Ninefold Rise in Profit on the Strength of a Global Shortage of the Thing It SellsScienceZoo Lions Became More Like Wild Lions After Being Put on a Nine-Day ScheduleTechnologySwiss Solar Plant Laid Between Railway Tracks Survives 11,000 Trains, Which Also Turn Out to Be Cleaning ItSportSeven Countries Will Bid for the 2036 Olympics, With the Host Chosen in 2029 and the Athletes Still at Primary SchoolWeatherArctic Sea Ice Finishes Tenth Lowest in the Satellite Record, in a Table Made Entirely of the Last Twenty YearsPiracyPirate App Tops an App Store's Entertainment Chart With 305 Million Downloads and Is Nominated for a European ListTechnologyAWS Releases a Sandbox for AI Agents in YOLO Mode, Whose Chief Guarantee Is That the Agent Cannot Argue With ItScienceAnimals May Be 200 Million Years Older Than Thought, on the Strength of Fossil Beds in Which They Are Conspicuously Missing

Oct 7, 2026 →

WorldDriest Desert on Earth Covered by 17,000 Square Kilometres of Flowers, and Keeps the TitlePoliticsGovernment Accepts All 44 Medical AI Recommendations, the First of Which Is to Work Out What a Medical AI IsMarketsFrozen Yoghurt Returns at £12 a Tub, Which the Trade Says Is Not a Food Price Because It Is Not FoodMarketsSpaceX Seeks $40bn of Debt for Nvidia Chips, Led by a Firm Nvidia Recruited to Finance Nvidia’s CustomersScienceNobel Prize in Physics Awarded for an Instrument That Is Mostly a Cubic Kilometre of Ice Nobody TouchedScienceHuman Brain Gene Found Living Inside a Virus, Raising the Question of Whose Gene It Now IsTechnologyOutlook Will Block Two More File Types, Taking the Count of Things Email May Not Carry to 135SportWorld Cup Ballot Draws 1.1m Ticket Applications From 320,000 People, Which Is 3.4 Wishes EachWeatherTokyo’s Record 37 Days of Rain Ends, and the City Begins a Streak of Days Without a Record StreakPiracyCourt Asked to Decide Whether Seven Prompts in Fifteen Minutes Is Enough to Own a Character

Oct 6, 2026 →

SportHalf the Formula One Grid Stopped Itself for Cheating, Served Sixty Seconds and Was Then PatchedTechnologyNorway Will Ban AI Glasses Everywhere Except Where There Is Nobody Left to FilmTechnologyApple Intelligence's Best-Documented Benefit Is the 12GB You Get Back for Taking It OutMarketsSaleyard Offered for a Dollar a Year Finds No Buyer, Making It the Only Lot It Could Not SellPoliticsCoast Guard Proposes Dropping Bridge Teamwork Training on the Grounds That the Bridge Team Is One PersonScienceSoil Is Being Spent Up to a Thousand Times Faster Than It Is Earned, Which Is Technically a BudgetWorldDivers Map 25 Structures Off Norfolk and Find Neither of the Two Churches the Domesday Book RecordedWeatherColorado Springs Expects to Break Its Hottest 6 October Record on 6 October, by One DegreePiracyBroadcaster Seeks 580,000 Euros a Day From a Resolver That Says It Cannot Identify a French User

Oct 5, 2026 →

WorldAustralia's Six Remaining Ice Age Gums Have Been Copied Into an Insurance Population of FourPoliticsQueensland Declines to Replace Its Stop Signs With Give Way Signs, on the Grounds That Stopping Is DifferentMarketsSlovenia's Domain Passes 200,000 Names Because American Policy Now Shares Its Two LettersMarketsGolf Club Spends $30,000 Narrowing Its Water Pipe, and the Charge It Was Escaping Is Then Cut to Under $1,000ScienceOklahoma Crater Is 100 Million Years Younger Than Thought, and Has Resigned From the Meteor Shower It Helped ProveTechnologyThe BBC's Digital Domesday Book Turns 40, Which Is 900 Years Behind the Parchment EditionSportDaryz Is the First Colt in 48 Years to Retain the Arc, a Drought Produced Entirely by the Word ColtWeatherSwiss Glaciers Shed 5.5 Per Cent of Their Ice in a Year and Delivered 2,200 Billion Litres of Water on TimePiracyLaLiga Asks Brussels to Put Four VPNs on the Piracy Watch List, While Stating That It Does Not Object to VPNs

Oct 4, 2026 →

WorldArgentina Publishes a Price List for Its Own Citizenship, and the Price Depends on Your AgePoliticsConservatives Would Scrap the £100,000 Childcare Threshold, Under Which One Particular Pound Costs Thousands to EarnMarketsThe $35 Computer Now Costs $67.50 and Is Still Called the $35 ComputerSciencePhysicists Improve a Superconductor by Putting Nothing Next to It, and the Nothing Does the WorkTechnologyTCL Sues Samsung Over the Word “Mini”, Which the Television Industry Has Never DefinedSportWakefield End a 58-Year Wait by Moving It to Warrington, Whose Own Wait Reaches a 72nd YearWeatherLos Angeles Beats Its Hottest 2 October by Nearly Seven Degrees, Settling the Question of What Month It IsPiracyTwo Site-Blocking Bills Reach Congress Ten Days Apart and Disagree Mainly About the Word “No”ScienceA 97-Million-Year-Old Animal Had Satellite Navigation, Without the Satellites

Oct 3, 2026 →

TechnologyarXiv Limits Each Researcher to Two Papers a Month, Making Science a Metered Service With an Annual Allowance of 24WorldHawaii's 550-Year-Old Sea Arch Collapses Exactly as Forecast, and the Park Service Confirms Another Is Already in the CliffPoliticsFewer Than One in a Hundred Australian Ivory Listings Show Proof of Legality, and the Department Reports No Substantial SeizuresMarketsIndian Buyers Moving From Gold to Silver Take Home 650 Grams Instead of 10, a Sixty-Five-Fold Improvement in MetalScienceBerkeley Puts Seven Million Pages of American Local Law Online and Calls It a Telescope, Which Is Precisely What It IsSportPretorius Makes 188 and the Opposition Makes 143, Which Makes Him the Larger Team by 45 RunsWeatherAustralia's September Was 17 Per Cent Drier Than Average, Made of a Near-Record Wet West and a Near-Record Dry EastPiracySupreme Court Leaves a Composer Holding the Music but Not the Recording, So a Licence From Him Covers Everything Except the SongSportBrisbane 2032 Emblem Leaked by Brisbane 2032, Which Makes Monday's Unveiling the Second One

Oct 2, 2026 →

TechnologyGoogle Puts a Data Centre in Orbit and Says the Economics Work After Only 1,800 More Starship LaunchesMarketsJapan Has 118 Jobs for Every 100 Job Seekers and an Unemployment Rate That Went Up AnywayWorldChilean City and the Falklands Hold 822 Business Meetings in Two Days, the Only Figure Anyone Has PublishedPoliticsDutch Ministry Will Register Estate Agents Because the Voluntary Bodies Cannot Discipline Anyone Who Can Simply LeaveWeatherThe Ocean Took In Forty Times More Energy Last Year Than Everyone on Earth Used, Making It the Planet's Largest ConsumerScienceFabric Invented to Keep Mosquitoes Off Soldiers Triples Strawberry Yields, Because the Plants Were Simply ColdSportSingapore Takes a Medal in Virtual Taekwondo, a Sport in Which the Fighters Never Touch and Three Sets Ended NilPiracyIndia's Copyright Filings Rose 80 Per Cent and 17,328 of Them Are Still Queuing to Become PropertyScienceSurrey Designs a Qubit With a Hundredth of the Errors, and So Far It Has Made None At All

Oct 1, 2026 →

WorldAustralia Bans Card Surcharges, Achieving Full Price Transparency by Removing the Only Figure Anyone Could SeePoliticsIndia's River-Linking Project Will Move Water From Surplus Basins to Deficit Ones, and the Invasive Species QualifyMarketsSouth Korean Exports Jump 83.5 Per Cent, Half of It Chips and Some of It Just the Price of ChipsScienceScientists Fixed Doomsday for Friday 13 November 2026, and the Forecast Was Accurate Until People Read ItTechnologyAirPods 5 Score Two Out of Ten for Repairability, an Infinite Improvement That Apple Cannot RepeatSportWest Indies Post Their Highest Ever ODI Total and Lose by Eight Wickets, Confirming the Risk of Scoring RunsWeatherTokyo Records 35 Straight Days of Rain, and a Single Dry Afternoon Would Now Cost the City a 140-Year RecordPiracyFirst Appeal Court Ruling on AI Training and Fair Use Arrives Under Seal, So Nobody May Read ItMarketsAustralia's First Commercial Solar Station Joins the Heritage Register, Protecting Its 25 Kilowatts in Perpetuity

Sep 30, 2026 →

WorldAlaska Crowns Its Fattest Bear by Popular Vote, Having Weighed None of ThemWorldAustralia Is Selling One Electric Car Every 100 Seconds, Including at Four in the MorningPoliticsState Pension Triple Lock Will Keep Two of Its Three Locks and All of Its NameMarketsAnthropic Prospectus Gives 80 Pages to Risk and 48 to the Business, Making Risk the Bigger AssetScienceAdult Fruit Flies Are Still 64 Per Cent Made of What They Ate as MaggotsTechnologyGoogle's Ten Years of Chromebook Updates Will Last Eight Years, Which Is Ten Google YearsSportBrazilian Football Loses 4.3 Paquetas a Year as Betting Sponsorships Are BannedWeatherWashington Farm Cuts Watering From Four Times a Week to Three Times a Summer, by LookingPiracyMusic Industry Asks Brussels to Put yt-dlp on a List Because It Cannot Be Removed

Sep 29, 2026 →

WorldEurope's Biggest Chip Company Is Now Selling Nothing At All In Europe, Which Leaves The Continent's Doubling Target Mathematically UntouchedPoliticsNew Zealand Loses Its Parliament On Thursday But Keeps Every Individual Part Of It, Including The People And The BuildingMarketsNvidia Authorises Another $150bn To Buy Nvidia, Making It Comfortably The Largest Customer For Nvidia Shares In The WorldScienceStarship Reaches Orbit For The First Time And Then Leaves It Early, Which Does Not Affect The Result In Any WayTechnologyAMD Pays $8.2bn For A Company Founded On The Belief That The Universe Is Not Made Of Words, In A Transaction Consisting Entirely Of WordsSportAustralia Beat The World Champions With Eleven Men, Having Spent The Closing Minutes Removing Four Of Their OwnWeatherA Wave Thousands Of Miles Wide Is Approaching California And Will Not Break, Crest Or Be Visible At Any PointPiracyCongress Produces A Second Site-Blocking Bill In A Fortnight, Named DEFEND IP After A Sentence Assembled Afterwards To Fit The LettersMarketsAldi Is Britain's Third Largest Supermarket By Two Measures It Selected And Fourth By The One It Did Not

Sep 28, 2026 →

WorldTaylor Swift Becomes the Most-Awarded Artist in VMA History on the Strength of a Prize That Did Not Exist Last YearPoliticsOregon Will Buy Only Frontier AI That Has Passed Third-Party Review, and Has 90 Days to Work Out What That MeansMarketsIndia's Michelin Key Total Rises 30 Per Cent to 47 Hotels, Which Between Them Now Hold 66 KeysScienceBolding the Start of Words Moves Readers' Eyes Exactly Where Intended and Does Not Make Them Read Any FasterScienceOldest Known Fossils of Complex Life Are Identified in Rock Trays That Were Already Sitting in a Darwin WarehouseTechnologyApple's Abandoned Operating System Finally Boots in a Browser, and Asks the User to Approve Each of Its Own ObjectionsSportUnited States Win an 11th Straight Presidents Cup, Taking the Series to 14-1-1 and the Suspense to Saturday NightWeatherHong Kong's Very Hot Weather Warning Now Covers More Than a Tenth of the Year, and August Has Been Abnormal Since 2016PiracyPirate Streaming App Closes After Ten Years, Leaving the Motion Picture Association the World's Largest Holder of Its Name

Sep 27, 2026 →

MarketsWater Utility Suggests Businesses Fit Narrower Pipes to Cut Their Bills, Making the Ideal Customer One That Cannot Draw WaterWorldArbitrator Finds That United's Contractual 'Premium Economy' Is Not the Cabin United Calls Premium PlusPoliticsParliament Told Its Villages Cost R600m to Maintain, and That Maintaining Them May Be a Constitutional QuestionScienceResearchers Burn Their Own Scrolls to Learn to Read Burned Scrolls, Solving a Shortage of Ruined ManuscriptsTechnologyBuild Dependency Checking Falls From 21 Minutes to 24 Seconds, Revealing That Nobody Had Been CheckingSportSlovakia Sends Its Team Masseur to the World Championship Road Race, Where Turning Up Is the Whole RequirementWeatherAtlantic Reaches Late September With No Hurricanes, Leaving 40 Per Cent of the Season's Activity Still to ComePiracySite-Blocking Bill Adds VPNs to the List and Asks Them to Block a Site 'From the United States' Without Saying Where That IsWorldMaine Laboratory Acquires a One-in-100-Million Lobster, Making Its Tank Statistically Impossible

Sep 26, 2026 →

WorldMelbourne Council Strips a Lawn of Its Park Status, and 7,707 People Sign to Argue With the DefinitionPoliticsSri Lanka Adds Two Years to Its Judges to Reduce a Backlog of 1.1 Million CasesMarketsBritish Dairy Farmers Deliver 240 Million Litres Less Milk and Are Still on Course for a Near-Record YearScienceSweden Sends 6,000 Schoolchildren Out to Ask Adults Whether They Are Comfortable, and the South WinsScienceSingapore Researchers Find the Ideal Number of Guards for a Plant Cell, and It Is FourTechnologyMicrosoft Puts More Than One Value in an Excel Cell, Retiring the Only Rule the Spreadsheet HadTechnologyFalling Satellites Turn Out to Be a Barometer, and There Are Now More Than Two Thousand of ThemSportRugby World Cup Billed as the Third Best-Attended Event in Sport, With Four Times That Number Standing on a French KerbWeatherFort Lauderdale Has Its Wettest September on Record and Settles a Summer Debt of 11.33 Inches With a Week to SparePiracyControl Resonant Is Cracked a Day Before Release, and the Pirates Tell Each Other to Buy It

Sep 25, 2026 →

WorldFeathers McGraw Outsells Both Wallace and Gromit at Auction, Settling a Rivalry the Films Left OpenPoliticsVocational GCSEs to Launch in 2029, Joining V-Levels, T-Levels and VCSEs on a Ladder Made of InitialsMarketsNSE Lists on Its Rival Because an Exchange Cannot Price Itself, Leaving India's Two Exchanges to Value Each OtherScienceKenya's Elephants Use 35 Plant Species as Medicine, in a Forest Dispensary That Has Never ClosedScienceTime Crystals Forty Micrometres Apart Agree on the Time, and Beyond That Distance Stop AgreeingTechnologyGoogle's First Orbital Data Centre Carries Four Chips and Can Run Them Fifteen Minutes at a TimeTechnologyPencil-Sized Quantum Magnetometer Built for Submarine Detection Tracks a Subway Train Into a StationSportIndia Take Asian Games Relay Silver by 0.08 Seconds, or About Two Thirds of a Metre in 1,600WeatherHeat Dome Returns Over Europe With 40C in Iberia and Mid-Teens in Scotland, Dividing the Continent Into Inside and OutsidePiracySpanish-Registered Pirate Site With German Servers Must Answer in Florida, Its Fourth-Best American State

Sep 24, 2026 →

SportManchester United Value the Old Trafford Turf at £25,510 a Square Metre and Report a £43m LossWorldWall Found Beneath Paris Is Dated to Within 190 Years of the Fire That Identifies ItPoliticsNew South Wales Takes the Number Four Out of Its Festival Law and Will Measure Loudness as an AverageScienceBats Given a 99.2% European Origin, Leaving 0.8% of the Order Unaccounted ForMarketsSingapore Sets a Ratio of One Certified HR Professional to More Than 200 Staff, and Doubles the Supply to Meet ItTechnologyEurope's Sovereign Supercomputing Milestone Will Supply About Half a Per Cent of Europe's SupercomputerWeatherRecord Aphid Numbers Report an Ideal Growing Season, and 30 Million Lettuces DisagreePiracyDutch Court Protects the Shape a Foot Leaves Behind, at €5,000 a DayTechnologyBentley's First Electric Car Reproduces a 6.75-Litre V8, and the V8 Can Be Switched OffMarketsWhey Protein Quadruples in Three Years, Helped by Demand From People Eating Less

Sep 23, 2026 →

WorldQantas to Fly Sydney to New York in 18 Hours, With Wellbeing Fitted Between Economy and Premium EconomyPoliticsIndia's Monsoon Session Sets a Record by Not Ending, 40 Days After the Houses Stopped MeetingMarketsHigh-Mileage Electric Cars Outlast Petrol Ones, Except for the Brakes, Which Corrode From Lack of UseScienceCrows Are Quietly Reforesting One of India's Driest Regions, at a Survival Rate the Planting Drives Cannot MatchTechnologyIrish Regulator Fines Google €403m After Spending Six Years Examining Twenty Months of Location DataSportCup of Nations Qualifying Starts on Thursday, With the Winner of the Last One Due to Be Decided in OctoberWeatherKorea's Producer Prices Turned Positive Again in August, Led by a 51.9% Month for SpinachPiracyNigeria Reports a Fourth Straight Year of Zero Piracy, a Record the Navy Can Now Only MatchScienceA 25km Crater Sat Unrecognised for 390 Million Years Because It Was Too Large to Look Like Anything

Sep 22, 2026 →

WorldBritish Museum Bans Photographs of the 70-Metre Picture Made Because Nobody Could Take PhotographsPoliticsBus Fare Frozen Since 2018 Gets Four More Weeks of Consideration, the Only Figure in the Case Anyone Has Agreed to ReviseMarketsAustralia Fights a $23bn Black Market by Crushing the Boats, the Only Commodity Trade Where Supply Is Removed With a CrusherScienceCats Found to Carry Thirteen-Compound Chemical Identity Document, Valid 24 Hours and Impossible to Leave at HomeTechnologySchneider Finds AI Data Centres Drink Less If You Let Them Run Hotter, Making Thirst a Matter of PreferenceSportDaicos Wins the Brownlow With 47 Votes, 39 of Them From Thirteen AfternoonsSportBranding Was Visible for 39.3 of the World Cup's 172.6 Hours, Giving Four Companies the Only Perfect Attendance RecordWeatherBritain to Get 26C and an Air Frost in the Same Week and Will Officially Have Recorded NeitherPiracyShein Wins the Right to Appeal Over 2,559 Photographs It Was Found Not to Have Owned at the Time

Sep 21, 2026 →

World800,000 Bees Stolen in Far North Queensland, Leaving Avocado Growers With Contracts and No ContractorsPoliticsUN Candidate Withdraws After a Poll That Binds Nobody, Leaving the Binding Vote Everyone Calls a FormalityMarketsCopper Fills New Orleans on the Strength of a Tariff That Has Not Been Imposed, Proving It the Cheapest Policy AvailableScienceTwo Laboratories Measure Gravity and Disagree by 0.0235%, Which Is Easiest Explained by Where They AreScienceT. Rex Ran at 36C, Placing It in the Same Thermal Category as the Reader and Excluding Every BirdTechnologyFCC Lets Foreign Investors Own 49.5% of Paramount After Deciding That Owning It Does Nothing At AllSportEvenepoel Wins a Fourth Straight World Time Trial, Extending the Clock's Losing Run to Four SeasonsWeatherArctic Air to Call at the Balkans on Tuesday and Western Turkey on Wednesday, in What Is Plainly a TimetablePiracyCanal+ and LaLiga Sign an Anti-Piracy Pact Covering Nearly 50 Countries, a Number Nobody Has Finished Counting

Sep 20, 2026 →

WorldBolivia's New Wild Cat Has Been There for 1.4 Million Years and Became a Species on ThursdayPoliticsHouse of Lords Makes Ties Optional and Leaves 'Business Attire' Undefined, Putting Compliance Beyond Reach of FailureMarketsBank of Japan Sets a Fresh 31-Year High of 1.25%, a Record Made Entirely Out of Its Own Previous RestraintMarketsBuffett Steps Down as Berkshire Chairman, Leaving Three Officers to Divide One Job Into Capital, Culture and JudgementScienceChariklo's Inner Ring Gained Ten Times More Than Its Outer Ring Lost, and the Supplier Has Not Been IdentifiedTechnologyGemini Stopped Hacking Three Companies the Moment It Established They Were RealSportLittler Wins the Decider in 12 Darts, Proving That Two Players Who Bring the Best Out of Each Other Must Be Separated by FormatWeatherMet Office Publishes 21 Storm Names for the Season, Setting Northern Europe's Annual Storm AllocationPiracyFilm Summit Told Piracy Needs Defining, After Hearing the Same Download Described as Both an Offence and a Distribution Strategy

Sep 19, 2026 →

MarketsAir Traffic Failure Lasted One Millisecond, a Rate of More Than Two Million Cancelled Flights a SecondWorldIndonesia Receives a Free Aircraft Carrier With a Refit Bill of Up to $900m, None of Which Is the Ship'sPoliticsMPs to Examine Who Chose the UK's Eurovision Entry, an Inquiry That Need Not Involve Hearing the SongScienceRoman Telescope Gains 12 Years of Life Because It Weighed 3,845lb Less Than It Was Permitted ToTechnologyAustralia Considers Banning Smart Glasses, a Rule Enforceable Only by Looking Very Closely at Everyone's FaceSportHarry Kane Reaches 100 Bundesliga Goals in 98 Games, Leaving Every Match 11.5 Minutes Longer Than He NeedsWeatherSouth-East Australia Swings From 10C Below Average to 12C Above It, Which Averages Out to Almost Exactly NormalPiracyUS Piracy Bill Asks Whether Blocking Can Be Done at the Speed of Light, Then Settles on Fourteen DaysMarketsMarks & Spencer Enters London Fashion Week Promising Fashion With a Small f, a Reduction of Exactly One Letter

Sep 18, 2026 →

PoliticsGovernment Spends £2.4m on Influencers After Checking That They Have Not Been Talking About PoliticsPiracyBelgian Court Backs Football Piracy Blocklist Switched On 90 Minutes Before Kick-Off So Viewers Cannot Anticipate ItWorldFrance Lends Mexico an Aztec Codex After 186 Years, on Condition That Mexico Lends France a Different Aztec CodexMarketsBarclays Staff Ask for an Exemption Above 40 Minutes or 35 Miles, Setting Britain's Official Commuting Speed at 52.5mphScienceNew 240-Million-Year-Old Species Named Three Decades After a Student Suspected It, a Delay of 0.0000125 Per Cent of Its AgeScienceScientists Rebuild Ten Seconds of Video From a Mouse's Brain, and the Mouse Has Made ChangesTechnologyNevada Lifts Its 100-Robotaxi Cap From a Company Running About 30 RobotaxisSportBournemouth Win Their First European Match 18 Years After Starting a Season on Minus 17 PointsWeatherEast Antarctica Took Delivery of 695 Billion Tons of Snow, Dispatched From the Tropics by Atmospheric RiverPiracyTalk Like a Pirate Day Falls on Saturday, and the Historically Accurate Way to Observe It Is in Spanish

Sep 17, 2026 →

WorldOlympic Rowing Venue Approved on River With 500 Crocodiles After Assessment That Did Not Look at the CrocodilesSciencePhysicists Drive 92 Antiprotons Eight Kilometres, Completing the Emptiest Delivery in the History of FreightWorldSeoul Restaurant Fined Over 49,000 Ants as Officials Confirm Edibility Is a Question of JurisdictionMarketsFederal Reserve Raises Rates a Quarter Point, Setting US Monetary Policy to a Third of a Percentage Point a YearMarketsComplaints About Water Firms Jump 84% to a Record, and the Industry Reports That 94% of Them StoppedTechnologyPubs to Accept Digital ID, So Drinkers Can Show Their Face to a Phone That Will Describe It to the BarmanSportVerstappen Clears 100 Amateur Drivers in 35 Minutes, a Rate at Which Silverstone Will Need 214 of ThemWeatherAugust Ties July 2023 as the Hottest Month Ever Recorded, Leaving the Title Shared Between Two Months That Have FinishedPiracyDenuvo Sues an Unknown Person Over 26 Games and Asks a Court to Cover the Ones Nobody Has Made Yet

Sep 16, 2026 →

TechnologyMediaTek Launches 2nm Phone Chip as Technology Industry Continues Running Out of NanometresScienceWild Dogs Complete 4,000km Journey After Local Dating Options Prove InadequateTechnologyRobot Runs 100m Faster Than Usain Bolt, Human Athletics Department Requests Firmware UpdateMarketsElectricity Emerges as Key to Next Industrial Race, Nations Begin Checking Extension-Cord SuppliesMarketsAltera Files for US IPO as Investors Prepare to Ask Every Chip Whether It Knows AIWorldJapan Now Has More Than 100,000 Centenarians, Candle Industry Placed on High Alert

Sep 15, 2026 →

PiracyPirate Shortage Deepens as Planet Continues to WarmSportFootball Team Wins After Scoring More Goals Than OpponentWeatherRainfall Still Concentrated in Places Where It RainsScienceEarth Completes Another Rotation Despite Lack of Public Consultation

Sep 14, 2026 →

WorldBed Ownership Remains Strongly Linked to Sleeping in BedsMarketsMonday Follows Sunday Again as Calendar Monopoly Enters Another Week