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POLITICS · SATIRE · INVERTED FORMALITY

UN Candidate Withdraws After a Poll That Binds Nobody, Leaving the Binding Vote Everyone Calls a Formality

Michelle Bachelet has left the race to lead the United Nations after a third informal straw poll. The council's ballot offers three options, one of which is having no opinion.

Editorial cartoon illustration: Delegates in dark suits sit around a large horseshoe table in a windowless international conference hall, most of them leaning forward to drop small wooden tokens into a brass bowl at the centre. One delegate sits back with both hands folded on the table, holding nothing at all and looking entirely content. A single empty chair stands between two of the others.
Editorial illustration by The Questionable Times. Based on the verified event; scene is illustrative.

Michelle Bachelet, a former president of Chile, has withdrawn her candidacy to become the next secretary general of the United Nations, ending an attempt that had struggled to gain traction among security council members.

Bachelet, 74, announced her decision in a video posted on Instagram on Saturday, saying: "I will now continue, with the same determination as always, my international work." The two-time Chilean president and former UN human rights chief had positioned her campaign around defending multilateralism and international law.

Her withdrawal came after a third informal straw poll, held on Friday, in which her support had all but collapsed. The same poll put Costa Rica's Rebeca Grynspan in the lead.

Bachelet's exit leaves seven candidates in the race to succeed António Guterres, who concludes his second five-year term as secretary general on 31 December. It is still possible for more candidates to enter the contest.

The straw polls are secret and informal. Each of the fifteen members of the security council marks each candidate in one of three ways: encourage, discourage, or no opinion expressed. The results are not announced. They reach the outside world through diplomats.

Friday's round lasted more than an hour. Diplomats said afterwards that Grynspan, the secretary general of the UN Conference on Trade and Development and a former vice-president of Costa Rica, finished first with nine encouragements and five discouragements. Carolyn Rodrigues-Birkett, Guyana's ambassador to the UN, was second with eight and six. Rafael Grossi of Argentina received five encouragements and eight discouragements.

France's ambassador to the UN confirmed only that "the third round of straw polls has taken place".

The thresholds that follow are arithmetical. To be recommended, a candidate needs at least nine votes from the fifteen-member council and must avoid a veto from any of the five permanent members: Britain, China, France, Russia and the United States.

The council then formally recommends a single candidate to the 193-member general assembly for election. The assembly's approval has long been seen as a formality once the council reaches consensus.

That last sentence is the one to sit with. The straw polls are informal, non-binding and unannounced. The general assembly's vote is formal, binding and, by common consent, already decided.

The stage with consequences is therefore the one that commits nobody, and the stage that commits everybody is the one whose outcome is known in advance. A candidate has just left the contest on the strength of a poll that had no standing to remove her from it.

This newspaper wishes to be fair to the arrangement. It does not lack rigour. It simply applies its rigour to the part that does not count.

The ballot itself deserves attention. One of its three options is an explicit statement that no opinion is held. It is marked, collected, counted and passed on. A council member with nothing to say is required to say so, at which point it becomes a recorded position.

Grynspan's nine encouragements and five discouragements account for fourteen of the fifteen members. The remaining seat is occupied by somebody who has formally registered an absence of view, and whose absence of view has now been reported around the world.

It is also the only entry on the ballot that cannot be shifted by argument. Encourage can become discourage. Discourage can become encourage. No opinion expressed can only be abandoned, which would require changing one's mind about not having one.

The Department of Unnecessary Research proposes a modest reform: that the straw polls be made formal, so that they can then be declared non-binding in the correct order, and that the general assembly's election be reclassified as informal, to reflect what everyone says it is. Seven candidates remain and more may yet enter. The only round that settles anything is the round in which nothing is at stake.

THIRD STRAW POLL: ENCOURAGEMENTS, AS REPORTEDQUESTIONABLE ANALYTICS
9Grynspan
8Rodrigues-Birkett
5Grossi
Encouragements recorded in the third informal straw poll of 18 September, as described by diplomats. The council has fifteen members and the polls are secret and non-binding.
THE BORING FACT

Michelle Bachelet, a former president of Chile, has withdrawn from the race to become UN secretary general after a third informal straw poll of the security council showed her support had all but collapsed. Her exit leaves seven candidates to succeed António Guterres, whose second term ends on 31 December.

Source: The Guardian
OUR PROFESSIONAL CONCLUSION

Because the informal straw polls decide who leaves the race while the formal vote is agreed in advance to be a formality, the United Nations chooses its secretary general entirely at the stage where nothing is binding.

REALITY CHECK · INVERTED FORMALITY

Unfortunately, there's a small problem.

Straw polls are non-binding soundings that show candidates how much support they could expect; they matter because of what they predict, not because they compel anything. A formal vote being uncontroversial does not make it empty, and 'no opinion expressed' is a way of withholding a view rather than holding one.

THE BS DETECTOR

Where did reality end?

Tap the paragraph where this story stopped being true. Then see where everyone else bailed.

 

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