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TECHNOLOGY · SATIRE · REIFICATION

Bentley's First Electric Car Reproduces a 6.75-Litre V8, and the V8 Can Be Switched Off

The Torcal makes 810hp and reaches 60mph in 3.3 seconds. On the move it sounds like an engine that is not fitted to it.

Editorial cartoon illustration: A large sleek electric saloon car sits on a polished showroom floor with its bonnet raised, lit from above. A product engineer in a tailored suit stands beside it with one hand resting on the wing, explaining something to two well-dressed customers. The space under the raised bonnet is completely empty and spotlessly clean, and everyone is looking into it approvingly.
Editorial illustration by The Questionable Times. Based on the verified event; scene is illustrative.

Bentley has formally unveiled the Torcal, the brand's first battery electric vehicle, which goes on sale early next year as a 2028 model.

Named after a Spanish rock formation, the production car is less bulbous and more blocky than the camouflaged prototype suggested. It is smaller than the Bentayga and should slot beneath that model on price, though Bentley has yet to say what US buyers can expect to pay.

Underneath the bodywork the underpinnings are relatively familiar: Bentley shares technology with Porsche, both being part of the Volkswagen Group. The standard car offers peak outputs of 810hp (604kW) and 880lb-ft (1,194Nm), enough for a 3.3-second 0-60mph time.

The more powerful Torcal S produces 875hp (653kW) and 995lb-ft (1,350Nm) at its most potent, reaching 60mph from a standing start in 2.8 seconds and raising the top speed to 162mph from 155mph for the standard version. Either figure is academic outside certain stretches of German motorway.

Although it is a much heavier car, the Torcal's suspension and drive modes have been tuned to feel familiar to existing customers, down to pedal calibrations and steering response rates.

"[In] a steady state environment… you've got the ride comfort and compliance from a Flying Spur, but in a dynamic environment, we've got a vehicle that's as dynamic and capable as a GT," said Martin Page, product line director for the Torcal.

The battery is a 113kWh net pack running at 800V, capable of DC fast charging at up to 400kW, which Bentley says should take just under 20 minutes to go from 10% to 80%. The car is rated at 375 miles (600km) on the WLTP test.

Inside, the trim options include a new merino wool fabric and a wood finish made from up to 1,000 walnut offcuts glued together and then sliced into veneer. There is no passenger infotainment screen, and the traditional metal organ stoppers that opened and closed the air vents are gone; the vents are now aimed using the curved central touchscreen.

One further specification deserves its own line on the sheet. On the move, the Torcal sounds like a 6.75-litre V8 — at least unless you turn that setting off.

This newspaper wishes to record what has happened here, because it is a first in automotive engineering and the press material has not framed it as one. Bentley has fitted a 6.75-litre V8 with a displacement of zero litres.

The component is not a simulation of an engine. It is an engine, specified by displacement and cylinder count in the ordinary way, which happens to occupy no space and consume no fuel. Its size is given in litres because that is the unit the customer expects, and litres of nothing are still litres.

The Department of Unnecessary Research has assessed it against the usual measures and finds it without precedent. It has no moving parts. It has no service interval. It cannot overheat, seize, leak or fail to start, and it is therefore the most reliable engine Bentley has ever built, by a margin that cannot be closed.

Our analysts note one further property that no previous Bentley engine has possessed. The 6.75-litre unit is a setting, and settings can be adjusted while in motion.

The charging figures show the direction of travel. The battery takes just under 20 minutes to go from 10% to 80%, and during that period the engine is not doing anything, which is also true of the engine while the car is being driven.

It is the first Bentley engine that can be switched off without stopping the car.

TORCAL VERSUS TORCAL SQUESTIONABLE ANALYTICS
93Standard: 810hp
100S: 875hp
96Standard top speed 155mph
100S top speed 162mph
Bentley's own published figures, each pair scaled to the higher of the two. Horsepower and top speed are shown side by side for size only.
THE BORING FACT

Bentley has unveiled the Torcal, its first battery electric vehicle, with peak outputs of 810hp and a 3.3-second 0-60mph time. Ars Technica reports that on the move it sounds like a 6.75-litre V8, unless that setting is turned off.

Source: Ars Technica
OUR PROFESSIONAL CONCLUSION

A 6.75-litre V8 that occupies no space, burns no fuel and exists as a menu setting is still a 6.75-litre V8, and it is the most reliable engine Bentley has ever made.

REALITY CHECK · REIFICATION

Unfortunately, there's a small problem.

The Torcal has no V8: the sound is synthesised, and a synthesised engine note has a displacement only in the sense that the recording it imitates did. Treating a described sound as the object it describes is the trick.

THE BS DETECTOR

Where did reality end?

Tap the paragraph where this story stopped being true. Then see where everyone else bailed.

 

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