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MARKETS · SATIRE · COUNTERFACTUAL RECORD

Firmus Pulls the Biggest ASX Float Since 1997, Making It the Largest Australian Listing of the Century Not to Happen

The data centre company withdrew its $11-a-share offer on Friday after investor demand failed to materialise. It had been expected to carry a $44bn valuation.

Editorial cartoon illustration: A group of brokers in suits stand in the middle of an empty Sydney trading floor, looking up at a bare wall where nothing is mounted. One broker at the front holds a small brass hand-bell down at his side and has not rung it. Behind them, two technicians wheel a single humming server cabinet slowly across the floor.
Editorial illustration by The Questionable Times. Based on the verified event; scene is illustrative.

Firmus Technologies has scrapped what was set to be Australia's biggest company listing in decades after investor demand for its much-hyped AI data centre business failed to materialise.

A Firmus spokesperson said the board decided that proceeding with the offer was no longer in the best interests of the company and its shareholders.

“Firmus will now pursue capital from the private markets and consider alternative public and private market options,” the spokesperson said on Friday morning. “We will provide additional information to shareholders as those options progress.”

Firmus, with an anticipated $44bn valuation, was expected to be the biggest ASX listing since Telstra in 1997.

It faced mounting scepticism over that valuation, and over its forecast earnings, for a company in its startup phase with just two small operational sites.

The company's bankers had sought to raise $7bn from investors ahead of a listing on the ASX on 23 October, with the help of five brokers. The pitch began to unravel midweek after it became clear that demand had been vastly overestimated, prompting discussions about a heavy reduction in the proposed $11-a-share offer price, according to one investment manager briefed on the matter. The company ultimately withdrew its application to list altogether.

Firmus is backed by the chip maker Nvidia and by the Wall Street firms Blackstone, Jane Street and Coatue. The lack of demand means it will need to raise money from private investors to fund its plans to build liquid-cooled “AI factories” in Australia and across Asia.

The troubles have already rattled other parts of the market, with shares in the Firmus investor Maas Group falling more than 20 per cent on Thursday.

The record, however, stands. Firmus was to be the largest listing on the Australian market since 1997, and nothing that happened this week alters the size of the listing it was going to be.

It is therefore the largest Australian float of the century so far not to occur, a category in which it leads comfortably and in which its lead cannot be eroded by trading.

This newspaper regards the position as an enviable one. A company that lists is immediately exposed to the opinion of buyers. A company that does not list retains its anticipated valuation in full, because the only figure capable of contradicting $44bn is a price, and no price was struck.

The $11 a share is likewise preserved. It was never paid, and so has never been wrong. Of the two numbers now available for Firmus, the one it asked for and the one the market offered, only the first has digits.

The Department of Unnecessary Research notes that the withdrawal also leaves the company's debut performance unblemished. It has not fallen on its first day, because it has had no first day, and a share that has not opened cannot close lower.

Five brokers, $7bn sought, two operational sites and one withdrawn application later, Firmus is worth exactly what it says it is. The arrangement will hold for precisely as long as nobody buys any.

SOUGHT AND RAISEDQUESTIONABLE ANALYTICS
100Sought from investors
0Raised
The $7bn the float sought against the nil raised after the application was withdrawn, shown as a share of the amount sought.
THE BORING FACT

Firmus Technologies scrapped what was set to be Australia's biggest company listing in decades on Friday 9 October 2026, withdrawing its application to list on the ASX after demand for its AI data centre business failed to materialise; the $11-a-share offer had sought $7bn ahead of a 23 October debut at an anticipated $44bn valuation.

Source: The Guardian
OUR PROFESSIONAL CONCLUSION

Because the offer was withdrawn before any price was struck, Firmus keeps both its $44bn anticipated valuation and its $11-a-share offer intact, and holds the record for the largest Australian listing since 1997 without having listed at all.

REALITY CHECK · COUNTERFACTUAL RECORD

Unfortunately, there's a small problem.

An anticipated valuation is an asking price, not a market price, and the collapse of demand is itself information about what the company is worth. Treating the absence of a traded price as the absence of a verdict is the inversion here.

THE BS DETECTOR

Where did reality end?

Tap the paragraph where this story stopped being true. Then see where everyone else bailed.

 

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